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SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes by Dave Barry
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Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd."
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The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter."
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Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant."
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"My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible."
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Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger brothers or the dog - to get myself checkmated in under three minutes. I challenge any computer to do it faster."
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"For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball."
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"Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart."
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"I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles."
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"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems."
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Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?"
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"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
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