FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: josephsoninstitute.org

SPORTS QUOTES
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"By next week, Archie Manning will be commanding higher stud fees than Secretariat."
– Comedian Argus Hamilton after Archie’s two sons, Eli and Peyton, led their teams to consecutive Super Bowl victories
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War is the only game in which it doesn't pay to have the home-court advantage.
-- Dick Motta, basketball coach
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"We’re not playing cricket in the 1950s. As far as sportsmanship on the field is concerned, that is a little bit off the mark."
– Australian captain Ricky Ponting after officials called for more civility on the field
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"‘It’s just a game. Hockey: It’s more than just a game.’ So can we throw things at the refs or not? I don’t know what to think!"
– Reaction by a blogger to a TV ad campaign for Michigan amateur hockey
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"Even Richard Nixon waved goodbye before he got inside the helicopter."
- Comedian Argus Hamilton on New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick walking off the field with two seconds left on the clock after his Super Bowl loss.
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"Tonight I just needed to make my presence felt a little. Make him think about something other than how well he’s been playing….I’ve been a brat for a long time. He’s probably not that happy with me for doing that. But I don’t need any young friends."
– Tennis player Andy Roddick after bullying opponent Kei Nishikori in a match in San Jose
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"I don’t preach a bunch of citizenship and sportsmanship. Sportsmanship awards are for the last-place team because they didn’t win anything. I remember when I was young, I got a sportsmanship award because our team was sorry. I don’t mean to be dirty, but I’ve never liked sportsmanship awards."
– Fort Worth Southwest basketball coach Scott Gray, who retired after 13 seasons, when asked what his players learned from him
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"Once a year, pro sports commissioners have to appear to be blind or they lose their right to park in handicapped spots."
– Comedian Argus Hamilton after NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell let New England off the hook so easily after spying on other teams
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“I feel like a mosquito in a nudist colony. I know what to do. I just don’t know where to start.”
– Miami Heat coach Pat Riley describing his happiness after the Heat ended an 11-game losing streak
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“There’s nothing wrong with pro sports. Most guys are great people, but when something bad happens, the news makes it sound like the end of the world. We’ve got more than 400 guys in the NBA. If 10 of them act a fool, the media act like they’re all bad.”
– TNT analyst Charles Barkley on sports scandals
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~ Classic From the Past ~
"Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor."
– Abe Lemons, basketball coach (1922-2002)
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