FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: detroitcurlingclub.com

CURLING HUMOR
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TEN COMMANDMENTS OF A CURLER
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1. Thou shalt have no other game before me, for I am the roarin’ game which was in the beginning (even in the stone age), is now and ever shall be.
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2. Come not upon the ice with the old house broom.
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3. Thou canst not quicken the pace of a dying rock with last year’s broom. Thou shalt learn thy turns both the out and the in, for the skip will not hold him guiltless who throweth the wrong turn.
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4. Plan not a running shot when thou art asked for a guard, lest thou raise thine own shot, so sending they skip up in the air; such play getteth his goat, queereth his game, causeth him to swallow his tobacco and revely thee openly.
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5. Thou shalt hearken diligently to the defeated skip when his voice is lifted up in lamentation against the punk ice, and thou shalt not turn thy face from him when he blameth his third man. Even so shalt thou secure a listener against the day of thine own defeat.
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6. Thou shalt not strew straws off thy broom in the path of thine own or thine adversary’s rock, neither shalt thou expectorate in front of them causing them to halt in their course.
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7. Thou shalt have no discourse with thine adversary while his foot is in the hack and his hand is on the rock, but if thou wilt, thou canst pray for him.
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8. Thou shalt not push nor kick a rock into the house from begind stealthily, for the opposing skip will know of a surety and his anger will be kindled against thee and he will rise up in righteous indignation against thee and smite thee even with the edge of the broom handle and thrust thee hence from the sight of curlers, and the days of thy curling shall be ended, for this is an unpardonable sin.
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9. Thou shat not covet thy neighbour’s rocks nor his new broom, nor his lead player, neither shalt thou flich from him his third man, who is his mainstay and a wall of defense in the day of battle.
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10. And when thou cometh to the last end and have won the game, and hast still one rock to play, and then played with great dilberation thy rock gambols playfully down the ice, sailing around the guard and through the port and wicks thine adversary’s rock into the house, so that it counts him the end and the game and thou cometh down the ice with fear and trembling and art hailed by the enemy as a good sport ad a curler, and by thine own side with groans and murmurings, and thou hast peddled the game away, thou shalt receive the proferred hand of thine adversary with a smile even though thou may wish it were his neck.
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