SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Monday, July 14, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: buzz.omgili.com

BASEBALL QUOTES
Sportscaster Hawk Harrelson Quotes
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Hawk's baseball catch phrases:
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"I tell you what" - used at beginning or end of any statement for emphasis
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"I am telling you what" - see above
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"I am going to tell you what" - see above
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"I am fixin' to tell you what" - see above
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"Boy I tell you what"- see above
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"Hiney Bird" - a bird that flies in perfectly executed concentric circles until it flies up his own behind and disappears forever (a reference to Jay Mariotti.)
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"Sit Back, Relax, and Strap it Down!" - when the pre-game analysis of the two teams ends
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"That's a can o' corn" - when any batter hits a lazy fly ball"
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"That ball hit deep. Waaaaaaaaaay back. He looks up, you can put it on the booooooooooooooaaaaaaard...YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"
(D.J. joins in) - when a Sox batter hits a home run
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"Mercy!" - usually after a great play, or when the White Sox are having a big inning
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"HE GONE!" - when a Sox pitcher strikes out an opposing batter
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"Right size, wrong shape." - when a ball with home run distance goes foul
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"Rack 'em up!" - when Sox defenders successfully execute a double play
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"Duck snort" - a short, hard fly ball that lands in the gap between an infielder and an outfielder
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"STRETCH!" - when a Sox batter hits a deep ball that has the potential to go over the wall for a home run
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"Souvenir right/left side" - when a player hits a ball foul into the stands on the left or right side
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"Hang whoop'um" - when a player hits a hard line drive right to an infielder
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"Zone 'em in, Reel 'em in, and light her up" - when a Sox player has a count with 3 balls, meaning to draw a walk
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"You can cancel the postgame show" - when a batter breaks up a pitcher's no-hit bid
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"Grab some bench!" - when a Sox pitcher strikes out an opposing batter
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"Gas" - when a Sox pitcher throws a fastball on which the batter whiffs
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"WAY BACK!" - when a Sox player hits a ball so far it is a no-doubt home run
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"Get foul!" - when an opposing player hits a ball that might go foul, and will be serious trouble for the Sox if it doesn't.
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"Stay fair..it will!" - when a Sox player hits a ball that might go foul, but doesn't
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"That ball was kilt" - when a Sox player hits a ball (usually a long homerun) with tremendous force
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"Sacks packed with Sox" - when the Sox are batting and have the bases loaded
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"That'll load 'em up" - a play (usually a base on balls) loading the bases while the Sox are batting
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"Time to cinch it up and hunker down" - when a batter has two strikes and is behind in the count
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"Chopper Two Hopper" - when a batter swings down on a pitch and hits a two hopper to an infielder
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"And here's (Player) He's Due" - When the player coming to the plate has no hits in the game
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"It's Sock it Thome time!" - whenever Sox slugger Jim Thome comes to bat in a crucial situation and Hawk has a strong feeling he will come through
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"Come on (Player's number, e.g. 24) One time" - when Hawk is hoping for clutch heroics from an unlikely source
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"That one had eyes on it" - referring to a sharp line drive hit by a player
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"Watch out" - when a player lines a foul ball into the stands
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"That'll get the job done" - when a Sox batter sacrifices a baserunner, often a fly ball, to bring him home
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"But the damage is done" - when the Sox end a productive inning
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"But a crooked number goes up on the board" - after a team scored two or more runs in an inning
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"Look at dis" - when the Sox get a timely hit or make a great defensive gem
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"Man, that is some B.S. right there" - when Hawk gets extremely angry at an umpire's call
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"He's got a chance to be something special" - when Hawk is optimistic about a young player's future (usually right after, "Boy I tell you what")
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"He just missed it" - when a Sox batter hits a deep fly ball, almost a home run
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"C'mon (Player), first and third him" - when there's a runner on first and Hawk wants a single to right field
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"Dreaded leadoff walk" - when a Sox player walks the first batter of an inning
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"Lance Johnson jump" - when a baserunner takes a nearly suicidal leadoff when attempting to steal a base (a reference to the great Sox base stealer Lance Johnson)
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"Get on back there, stretch, c'mon STRETCH!" - when a ball just barely makes it over the fence
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"Down to the last bullet" - when a team has two strikes and two outs in their final inning
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"Ball four base hit" - when a Sox hitter has a full count and Hawk wants either a walk or a hit on the next pitch
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"That's trouble" - when the opposing team gets a hit to score at least one run
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"Give 'em a thrill" - when a Sox player has a chance to make the crowd roar with excitement
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"Feisty" - Hawk's nickname for broadcast partner D.J.
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"Your what hurts?" - Hawk's response to any slightly homoerrotic comment by broadcast partner D.J.
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"Where was that pitch?" - when the umpire calls a ball that Hawk thinks was a strike
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"Before we show you our picks to click you at home select yours" - referring to the daily contest between anouncers which player will have the best game
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"I loooooove that duck." - when Hawk expresses his love for the duck that shows up on the graphic for the daily Aflac Trivia Question
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"Carmines" - the nickname Hawk has for the Red Sox (carmine is a shade of red)
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"Twinkies" - the nickname Hawk has for the Twins
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"And this ballgame...is OVA!!" - after the Sox earn a victory (especially emphatic if it is an exciting game)
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"That'll end the [inning number]. Good guys in trouble." - after the opposing team ends their half of the inning and the Sox are down a lot of runs
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"Did he? Yes he did!" - when an opposing batter strikes out on a close check-swing
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"There's a base hit up the middle right through the wickets." - after a base hit through the pitcher's legs
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"Pickett (Pick it) Wilson!" - after a Sox infielder makes a tough play on a ground ball
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"Carmine derriere" - Hawk's affectionate term for a fiercely competitive player
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"I love fireworks in the day time." - Hawk says when during a day game a Sox player hits a home run and the stadium shoots off fireworks.
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"Lookin' for it, got it, couldn't do nothing with it" - when a Sox player guesses correctly what/where the next pitch will be, and just misses hitting it well.
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"Suck'em up Joe" - when the opposing team hits a ball towards third baseman Joe Crede.

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Fact
While playing for the Athletics, Harrelson invented the batting glove by wearing a golf glove while batting, according to The Dickson Baseball Dictionary, by Paul Dickson.

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