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SPORTS HUMOR
Humor by Andy Rooney
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This is the big time of year for baseball fans. I've never been much of a baseball fan myself. My father took me to a Yankees game when I was young and Joe DiMaggio struck out twice. I think that's what cooled me off on baseball. I know all about Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig but today's baseball stars are mostly unknown to me.
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I think baseball needs some rules changes, too. For example, managers are too big in the game. Every time I see a game on television, the manager is walking out on the field to butt in. Players ought to be making all those decisions themselves. Whose game is it anyhow?
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There are 30 major league baseball teams and there have been 102 World Series since the first one in 1903. The Yankees have been in 39 of those and they've won it 26 times. Four big league teams have never won a World's Series because they've never even played in one. And, by the way, isn't it sort of silly that they call it "The World Series" when most of the world doesn’t know baseball from ping pong?
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It's easier to understand why our football game isn't played in many other countries. It's complicated for one thing. Cricket is not played in many countries either of course but that's because cricket makes hopscotch seem exciting.
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In most countries they play what they call "football" but it's what we call "soccer." All the players need to play soccer is a ball and a pair of shorts. Our football is a better game but it takes expensive equipment.
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The figures they give us when they broadcast a game are things like batting averages and the number of first downs a team has made. When a player comes up to bat in a baseball game well I want to know his batting average, his salary and how smart he is. But then I’d also like to know the cumulative IQ and the cumulative salaries of the New York Yankee baseball team, compared to the New York Giants football team.
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As someone who never misses a Giants game myself, I don't want to talk about the IQ of football fans.
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