Monday, December 20, 2010
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
I would so like to be Lenny Kravitz.
- Roger Federer
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Tennis is an addiction that once it has truly hooked a man will not let him go.
- Russell Lynes
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I played really well. So I'd like to thank myself, first of all.
- Dmitry Tursunov on winning the Hopman Cup (with Nadia Petrova)
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If I wore a sleeveless shirt, people would try to feed me after the match.
- Andy Roddick
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I wore that to a sixth-grade dance.
- Robby Ginepri on one of Vince Spadea's outfits
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I'd rather be No. 2 in Chile and No. 1 in the world.
- Nicolas Massu
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The wind was blowing, the dogs were barking, something got in my eye.
- Andy Roddick on his loss to Greg Rusedski
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When you speak to tennis journalists, you notice how little they understand.
- Tim Henman
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I threw the kitchen sink at him but he went to the bathroom and got his tub.
- Andy Roddick on losing the 2004 Wimbledon final to Roger Federer
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It's all your fault - but nothing personal!
- Andy Roddick to an umpire
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Tim Henman... is the human form of beige.
- Lnda Smith, Comedienne
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The difference between night and day is, er, night and day.
- Tim Henman
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I can cry like Roger, it's just a shame I can't play like him.
- Andy Murray after losing to Federer at the 2010 Australian Open
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I'm not the next anyone, I'm the first Maria Sharapova.
- Maria Sharapova
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I decided I can't pay a person to rewind time, so I may as well get over it. - Serena Williams
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This taught me a lesson, but I'm not quite sure what it is.
- John McEnroe
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I can't really explain why, Physically I felt good, but it's just... it's just a bad day at the office, as they say it.
- Novak Djokovic on his loss at the 2009 Roland Garros
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Source: bukisa.com
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So, which is it, Roger, a sports hall of fame or a music hall of fame?
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If you choose Kravitz (see quote above), you give up your
legacy as arguably the greatest tennis player ever!
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What's up with that, Mr. Federer?
Link below may explain what's up.
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Click here to view ===> LENNY KRAVITZ VIDEO
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Editor's note:
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Now your point is well taken, Mr. Federer!
Enough said!
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
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BASKETBALL TRIVIA \ QUOTES \ HUMOR \ POEM
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Top Ten Shortest Players from the NBA
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Click here to view ===> PROFILES OF THE TOP TEN SHORTEST PLAYERS
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Source: toptenz.net
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Bonus entry: Basketball humor
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Charles Barkley presents his views on basketball and its players in
an interview by Conan O'Brien
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Charles Barkley, you're on.
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"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!"
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Click here to view ===> CHARLES BARKLEY VIDEO.
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Source: huffingtonpost.com
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Bonus entry: Basketball Poem
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Poem by John Updike: Ex-basketball Player
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Click here to view ===> BASKETBALL POEM
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Source: thebestamericanpoetry.typepad.com
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Looking for extra credit?
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If so, here is the analysis of the Updike poem:
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Click here to view ===> ANALYSIS OF THE POEM
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Source: helium.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
University of Maryland Students Start Competitive Eating Team
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Click here to view ====> COMPETITIVE EATING
Source: aolnews.com
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“Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think.” ~Tom Wilson
“I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!” ~W.C. Fields
“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.” ~Julia Child
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of those pieces.” ~Judith Viorst
“Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian, wine and tarragon make it French, sour cream makes it Russian, lemon and cinnamon make it Greek, soy sauce makes it Chinese, garlic makes it good.” ~Alice May Brock
“There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” ~George Bernard Shaw
“Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.” ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
“A dinner lubricates business.” ~Lord William Sowell
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” ~AW Brown
“I went into McDonald’s yesterday and said, “I’d like some fries.” And the girl behind the counter says, “Would you like fries with that?” ~Jay Leno
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” ~Virginia Woolf
“What is food to one man may be fierce poison to others.” ~Lucretius
“Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.” ~Ernestine Ulmer
“Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.” ~Harriet Van Horne
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.” ~Trixie Koontz
“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” ~Doug Larson
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Source: dietygoy.com
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Bonus entry: Food Comedy Video
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Laurel and Hardy, you're on!
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The link below contains a compilation of food-related
scenes from Laurel and Hardy movies that show the
duo's exceptional skills in comedic slapstick - watch for the
duo's patented "acknowledgment" nods to put the icing on
the slapstick cake!
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"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!"
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Click here to view ===> FOOD FIGHTS!
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Source: youtube.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
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R. A. Dickey is one of two pitchers currently playing in Major League Baseball to use the knuckleball as a primary pitch.
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When originally developed, the knuckleball was used by a number of pitchers as simply one pitch in their repertoire, usually as part of changing speeds from their fastball.
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It is almost never used in a mixed repertoire today, however, and some believe that to throw the knuckleball effectively with some semblance of control over the pitch, one must throw it more or less exclusively. At the same time, pitchers rarely focus on the knuckleball if they have reasonable skill with more standard pitches, so knuckleball pitchers have become quite rare.
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However, the knuckleball does provide some advantages to its practitioners. It does not need to be thrown hard (in fact, throwing too hard may diminish its effectiveness), and is therefore less taxing on the arm.
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This means knuckleball pitchers can throw more innings than orthodox pitchers, and are able to pitch more frequently because they require less time to recover after having pitched.
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The lower physical strain also gives them the potential for greater career longevity, as some have continued to pitch professionally well into their forties, such as Tim Wakefield, Tom Candiotti, and the Niekro brothers. In addition, some pitchers (such as Jim Bouton) have had success as knuckleballers after their ability to throw hard declined.
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Hoyt Wilhelm, Phil Niekro and Jesse Haines, three pitchers who primarily relied on the knuckleball, have been inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Niekro was given the nickname "Knucksie" during his career.
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Other prominent knuckleball pitchers have included Joe Niekro (Phil's brother), Charlie Hough, Dave Jolly, Ben Flowers, Wilbur Wood, Tom Candiotti, Bob Purkey, Steve Sparks, Eddie Rommel and Tim Wakefield.
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During the 1945 season, with talent depleted by call-ups to fight in World War II, the Washington Senators had a pitching rotation which included four knuckleball pitchers (Dutch Leonard, Johnny Niggeling, Mickey "Itsy Bitsy" Haefner and Roger Wolff) who combined for 60 complete games and 60 wins, carrying the Senators to second place.
As of 2010[update], Wakefield of the Boston Red Sox and R.A. Dickey of the New York Mets[2] are the only knucklers in the big leagues, though minor leaguers Charlie Zink of the Rochester Red Wings and Charlie Haeger of the Albuquerque Isotopes also throw the knuckleball.
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In November 2008 it was announced that 16 year old knuckleballer Eri Yoshida was drafted as the first woman ever to play in Japanese professional baseball for the Kobe 9 Cruise of the Kansai Independent Baseball League.
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On March 2, 2010, she trained with Tim Wakefield at the Boston Red Sox minor league training facility.[3] and on April 8, 2010, she signed with the Chico Outlaws, debuting on May 29, 2010.[4]
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Detroit Tigers reliever Eddie Bonine also throws a knuckleball, though he does so infrequently as compared to pitchers who use it as a primary pitch.
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Lance Niekro, son of Joe Niekro, attempted to convert from a position player to a knuckleball pitcher. He started the 2009 season with the Gulf Coast League Braves but is currently listed as a free agent.
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Quotes on the knuckleball:.
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"They say you don't want to have a knuckleballer pitching for you or against you" - Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda, quoted in Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, August 4, 1987.
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"I always thought the knuckleball was the easiest pitch to catch. Wait'll it stops rolling, then go to the backstop and pick it up." broadcaster and former catcher Bob Uecker
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"You don't catch a knuckleball, you defend against it." Retired Dodgers manager and former catcher Joe Torre
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"Trying to hit against Phil Niekro is like trying to eat Jell-O with chopsticks". All-star outfielder Bobby Murcer
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"I never worry about it. I just take my three swings and go sit on the bench. I'm afraid if I ever think about hitting it, I'll mess up my swing for life." All-star first baseman Dick Allen
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"There are two theories on hitting a knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them works." famed hitting coach Charlie Lau
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"You know, catching the knuckleball, it's like trying to catch a fly with a chopstick." All-star and Gold Glove catcher Jason Varitek
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"If it's high, let it fly. If it's low, let it go." Common saying describing how to approach hitting the knuckleball.
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"Throwing a knuckleball for a strike is like throwing a butterfly with hiccups across the street into your neighbor's mailbox." Hall of Famer Willie Stargell
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"For a knuckleballer, a pitch count of 150 is not a problem. Unless it's the first inning." Dave Clark, author of The Knucklebook
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"Like some cult religion that barely survives, there has always been at least one but rarely more than five or six devotees throwing the knuckleball in the big leagues... Not only can't pitchers control it, hitters can't hit it, catchers can't catch it, coaches can't coach it, and most pitchers can't learn it. The perfect pitch." Ron Luciano, former AL umpire
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"Hitting Niekro's knuckleball is like eating soup with a fork." Richie Hebner
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"You're not expected to hit it. [I am] expected to catch it." John Flaherty summing up his day catching Tim Wakefield in a spring training game against the Twins by relaying a comment made by fellow catcher Mike Redmond. Flaherty retired the next day.
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"Knuckleballs suck." Geno Petralli after giving up four passed balls in one inning
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"It's not a pitch to be mastered but only executed the best you can. Charlie Hough told me he learned the pitch in one day and spent a lifetime learning how to throw it for strikes." R.A. Dickey, knuckleball pitcher of the Mets, on the knuckleball.
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Source: wikipedia.com
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Bonus entry: Baseball Humor
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Fattest Players in the Major Leagues
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David Letterman years ago cited on his late night talk show a
major league pitcher, Terry Forster, so overweight that Letterman
coined the term "Big tub of goo" to describe him.
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Such players today are nominated for GQ's Rich Garces Cup,
an award named for yet another obese pitcher, Rich Garces.
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So, with humor, sit back and enjoy the slide show from GQ
on the fattest players in major league baseball.
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Click here to view ===> FATTEST PLAYERS IN BASEBALL
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Source: gq.com
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Editor's note:
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Hope springs eternal syndrome reigns here, as all males who have
ever seen a knuckleball thrown feel they can use that same pitch
to get into the majors, if they just had the time and wherewithal to
pursue the dream.
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Similarly, every overweight male knows if Rich Garces or Ryan
Howard or David Wells can play the game, he can too, given the
time and the wherewithal.
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So, while most baseball fans harbor that dream of playing in the
majors, they know one of the two variables in this post, knuckleball
pitching or the "big tub of goo" factor can be their ticket to playing
in the Show.
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So even though the variables appear unrelated, both qualify as dream
world solutions to what many aspire to, so both are included in this
one post.
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===================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
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On former managerial rival Sir Alex Ferguson...
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“Maybe when I am 60 and have been managing in the same league for 20 years, and have the respect of everybody, I will have the power to speak to people and make them tremble a little bit.”
(Sir Alex on Mourinho. “Forget the mind games. I like him. I think he sees himself as the young gunslinger who has come into town to challenge the sheriff who has been around a while.”)
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Mourinho on taking over at Inter Milan...
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“I studied Italian for five hours a day for many months to ensure I could communicate with the players, media and fans. Ranieri had been in England for five years and he still struggled to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good afternoon’."
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"Pressure, what pressure? For me, pressure is bird flu – I’m feeling the pressure with the problem in Scotland. It is not fun and I’m more scared of it than football."
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As we say in Portugal, they brought the bus and they left it front of the goal. I would have been frustrated if I had been a supporter who paid £50 to watch this game because Spurs came to defend."
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"Why drive an Aston Martin all the time when I have a Ferrari and a Porsche as well."
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"If I wanted to be protected in a quiet job, I could have stayed at Porto. I would have been second, after God, in the eyes of the fans, even if I never won another thing."
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Source: givemefootball.com
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Bonus entry: More Soccer Quotes
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"Football is a grand game for developing a lad physically and also morally, for he learns to play with good temper and unselfishness, to play in his place, and to play the game, and these are the best of training for any game of life."
- Robert Baden Powell
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"Behind every kick of the ball there has to be a thought."
- Dennis Bergkamp
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"Five days shalt thou labour, as the Bible says. The seventh day is the Lord thy God's. The sixth day is for football."
- Anthony Burgess
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"Winning isn't everything. There should be no conceit in victory and no despair in defeat."
- Matt Busby
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"If God had meant football to be played in the air he would have put grass in the sky."
- Brian Clough
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"Football is a game you play with your brain."
- Johan Cruyff
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"Beyond the touchline there is nothing."
- Jacques Derrida
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"It's a conflict of parallels."
- Sir Alex Ferguson
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"Football is an art."
- Germaine Greer
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"The point about football in Britain is that it is not just a sport people take to, like cricket or tennis. It is built into the urban psyche, as much a common experience to our children as are uncles and school. It is not a phenomenon: it is an everyday matter."
- Arthur Hopcraft
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"I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women. Suddenly, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain it would bring."
- Nick Hornby
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"Football is a game of tomorrows."
- Geoff Hurst
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"To be a footballer means being a privileged interpreter of the feelings and dreams of thousands of people."
-Cesar Luis Menotti
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"Football is a grey game played by grey people on grey days."
- Rodney Marsh
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"If you never concede a goal, you're going to win more games than you lose."
- Bobby Moore
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"Football, a game in which everyone gets hurt and every nation has its own style of play which seems unfair to foreigners."
- George Orwell
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"It's not about the long ball or the short ball, it's about the right ball."
- Bob Paisley
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"Football is the last sacred ritual of our time."
- Pier Paolo Pasoloni
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"Football is like a religion to me. I worship the ball, and I treat it like a god. Too many players think of a football as something to kick. They should be taught to caress it and to treat it like a precious gem."
- Pele
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"Amongst all unimportant subjects, football is by far the most important."
- Pope John Paul II
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"To say that these men paid their shillings to watch twenty-two hirelings kick a ball is merely to say that a violin is wood and catgut, that Hamlet is so much paper and ink."
- JB Priestley
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"In a world haunted by the hydrogen and napalm bomb, the football field is a place where sanity and hope are still left unmolested."
- Stanley Rous
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"In football everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team."
- Jean-Paul Sartre
"In football you sometimes have beauty and cruelty together."
- Peter Schmeichel
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"Football is a simple game made complicated by people who should know better."
- Bill Shankly
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"Footballers can be like artists when the mind and body are working as one. It is what Miles Davis does when he plays free jazz - everything pulls together into one intense moment that is beautiful."
- Lillian Thuram
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"Rugby is a game for barbarians played by gentlemen. Football is a game for gentlemen played by barbarians."
- Oscar Wilde
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Source: hereisthecity.com
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Bonus entry: Sports Music Video
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Click here to view ===> FIFA WORLD CUP ANTHEM
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Source: youtube.com
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=================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: awinninghabit.com
- Patrick Roy.
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”I know my players don’t like my practices, but that’s OK because I don’t like their games.”
– Harry Neale.
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Click here to view ===> HOCKEY QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: footballoutsiders.com
-- Giants co-owner John Mara after the Giants 33-20 loss to the rival Cowboys in a game that featured two power outages which shut down the stadium lights and halted play for a total of 11 minutes (NY Post)
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Click here to view ===> FOOTBALL QUOTES I
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"I always get bothered when I hear other coaches say: 'We're here 24/7. We really grind.' I mean, c'mon. We choose to do this. We sit in air-conditioned rooms. We watch film. We enjoy watching film and coming up with game plans. Someone who has to grind it out is a guy who's a laborer, or a guy in the military."
-- Oregon coach Chip Kelly on the perceived intensity of being a head coach of a football team ( New York Times )
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Click here to view ===> FOOTBALL QUOTES II
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Bonus entry: "Where's the beef?"
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Many athletes are seeking to capitalize on their names and catchphrases by trademarking the terms.
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The New York Times reports on the trend and includes these examples:
• Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis applied to trademark “Revis Island,” his term for the turf where he confines opposing players.
• Former Giants defensive end Michael Strahan sought trademark protection for “Stomp You Out."
• Bengals wide receiver Terrell Owens registered “I Love Me Some Me.”
• Vikings defensive end Jared Allen registered “Got Strange?”
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Source: abajournal.com
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============
Sunday, December 5, 2010
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
- Max Baer
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“To be a champ, you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.”
- Sugar Ray Robinson
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How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills?
- Mike Tyson
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"How could he (Roy Jones) say he is the best boxer in the world and he's not even the best boxer in Florida??"
- Antonio Tarver
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"A boxer is a mischievous person," Rodriguez added. "When a mother says, 'He's a bad kid' - that's who's going to make a good boxer."
– CNN’s David Ariosto
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"It's not bragging if you can back it up!”
- Muhammad Ali
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"Aaah! My arm! I think it's broken!"
- Arturo Gatti
"What do you want to do?"
- Buddy McGirt
"I'm going to keep fighting!"
- Arturo Gatti
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"When did you know you had control of this (Tito Trinidad) fight?"
- Marc Goldberg
"When Tito signed the contract."
- Bernard Hopkins
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"I hit him (David Tua) with some right hands and he smiled so I said, well, receive some more then!"
- Lennox Lewis
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"And he's expected to be booed Jim... and his answer, "I come from Philadelphia where they boo Santa Clause!" Once again, turning a negative into a positive." - - Larry Merchant speaking to Jim Lampley referring to Bernard Hopkins' ring entrance for Tito fight.
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Larry Merchant, “They did count you out!”
Marlon Starling, “When? He didn't hit me!”
Larry Merchant, “Marlon, he did hit you and if you don't remember it that's proof that he hit you but the dispute is whether he hit you as the bell rang or after the bell rang.”
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Source: forums.doghouseboxing.com
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==================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: ridingthepine.com
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See message body
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Excerpt from the theme blog for this post:
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Is your daily routine at the gym boring you? Is your jogging route not giving you the same satisfaction it once did? And are you tired of athletic events that only last a couple of measly hours?
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Then it sounds like you need more pain and suffering in your life!
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Luckily, there are numerous sporting challenges that have been designed for the sole purpose of torturing their participants with insane demands.
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Taking part in any one of the following 10 events should be enough to ensure that you never want to exercise again!
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End of excerpt.
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Click here to view ===> 10 TOUGHEST ATHLETIC CHALLENGES
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Source: top-tenz.net.
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Ready to accept the challenge or learn more about the requirements
for overcoming the challenges?
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If so, the following links will help point aspiring athletes in the right
direction for overcoming the challenges.
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Bonus entry: Sports endurance quotes
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"Well, you're not getting any faster sitting on the wall."
- Wolfgang Dittrich to masters swimmer.
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"Women's XC is an eating disorder with uniforms."
- ex girlfriend and NCAA All American runner
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS ENDURANCE QUOTES
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Source: finalkick.com
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Bonus entry: Cycling quotes
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Refrain from throwing your bicycle in public. It shows poor upbringing
-Jacquie Phelan
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Anything is possible. You can be told that you have a 90-percent chance or a 50-percent chance or a 1-percent chance, but you have to believe, and you have to fight.
-Lance Armstrong
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Click here to view ===> CYCLING QUOTES
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Source: sportsquotescollection.com
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Bonus entry: Running quotes
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I tell runners to divide a race into thirds. Run the first part with your head, the middle part with your personality, and the last part with your heart.
- Mike Fanelli
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Running is like mouthwash; if you can feel the burn, it's working.
- Brian Tackett
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Click here to view ===> RUNNING QUOTES
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Source: good-quotes-now.com
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Bonus entry: Exercise quotes
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"A fat stomach never breeds fine thoughts."
- St. Jerome
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"The physically fit can enjoy their vices."
- Lord Percival
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Click here to view ===> EXERCISE QUOTES
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Source: great-quotes.com
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Bonus entry: Workout exercise dance routine
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If you've reached this point, you are now ready for the
piece de resistance in readying yourself for the
athletic challenges - THE WORKOUT DANCE!
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You know the deal....
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If you are 30 or younger, put on your workout dancing shoes.
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Older than 30, grab a seat and sit down and watch ---- PERIOD!
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"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!"
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Click here to view ===> WORKOUT DANCE VIDEO
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Source: youtube.com
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====================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: flyaboveall.com
- Charles F. Duryea, 'Learning How to Fly,' Procedings of the Third International Conference on Aeronautics, 1894.
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Problems look mighty small from 150 miles up.
- Roger B. Chaffee, astronaut.
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It was a thunderingly beautiful experience – voluptuous, sexual, dangerous, and expensive as hell.
- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. 'Playboy Interview, 1973,' regards the Apollo launches.
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Ah hell. We had more fun in a week than those weenies had in a lifetime.
- Pancho Barnes, quoted in 'The Happy Bottom Riding Club - The Life and Times of Pancho Barnes,' by Lauren Kesler.
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I have the normal desire, experienced by everybody who's ever flown an airplane with a certain amount of zoom capability, to go a little bit higher and a little bit faster.
- Gordon Cooper, Mercury 9 astronaut, in 'Life' magazine, 1959.
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It's the most exciting thing you have ever done with your pants on!
- Stephen Coonts, 'Flight of the Intruder'
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Air racing may not be better than your wedding night, but it's better than the second night.
- Mickey Rupp, air racer and former Indianapolis 500 driver.
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I was sold on flying as soon as I had a taste for it.
- John Glenn
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It will free man from the remaining chains, the chains of gravity which still tie him to this planet. It will open to him the gates of heaven.
- Wernher von Braun, on the importance of space travel, 10 February 1958.
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What is it that makes a man willing to sit up on top of an enormous Roman candle, such as a Redstone, Atlas, Titan or Saturn rocket, and wait for someone to light the fuse?
- Tom Wolfe, 'The Right Stuff,' 1979.
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It was quite a day. I don't know what you can say about a day when you see four beautiful sunsets. . . . This is a little unusual, I think.
- John Glen, in 'American Chronicle,' Lois and Alan Gordon, 1962.
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As you pass from sunlight into darkness and back again every hour and a half, you become startlingly aware how artificial are thousands of boundaries we've created to separate and define. And for the first time in your life you feel in your gut the precious unity of the Earth and all the living things it supports.
- Russell 'Rusty' Schweikart, returning from Apollo 9
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Click here to view ===> AIR SPORTS \ FLYING QUOTES
==================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: members7.boardhost.com
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
-Mitford, Mary Russell
Letter to R B Haydon
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Cricket? It civilises people and creates good gentlemen. I want everyone to play cricket in Zimbabwe. I want ours to be a nation of gentlemen.
-Mugabe, Robert Gabriel
Quoted in Helen Exley Cricket Quotations (1992).
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It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you realise that your wife left you in May.
-Norden, Denis
Quoted in She magazine,1977.
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Click here to view ===> CRICKET QUOTES
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Source: quotes.yourdictionary.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: forums.comicbookresources.com
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WRESTLING QUOTES
Web site presents wrestling quotes from a wrestling forum
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Remember that time when DX trashed The Nation Of Domination's dressing room and blamed it on Stone Cold Steve Austin. Farooq was going on this massive tirade, talking about how certain people should stay on "their side of the tracks." I forgot what Austin said totally, but the last line was awesome,
"Because it ain't a white thing, it ain't a black thing, it's just A ME KICKING YOUR ASS THING!!!"
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More recently - "I'm here to connect your mouth to your brain because it seems you're talking out of your ass!"
~Jake the Snake
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"They say these geeks come a dime a dozen. I want to get the guy who's been supplyin' the dime"
--Fred Blassie
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"If the Gods could build a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up that ladder and drop an elbow on the world."
-- Cactus Jack
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Click here to view ===> WRESTLING QUOTES
=================
Saturday, November 20, 2010
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youtube.com
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PART I OF 3 ENTRIES
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AMERICAN FOOTBALL (NFL) QUOTES \ HUMOR \ MUSIC
Web site presents a music video of quotes by Randy Moss
.
Note from editor:
.
Sports_nut is an old school music fan of the Funk music genre
and not too fond of the hip-hop \ rap genre.
.
UNTIL NOW!!!
.
That's right, folks. Youngsters (40 years old and younger) have
been asked over and over again, just what is that I'm hearing on
the radio - you kids really need to listen to James Brown and
Kool and the Gang for some killer dance music!
.
While some hip-hop \ rap music did appeal to me, I now know
what the youngsters are talking about, thanks to a new kind of
sports journalism presented on music videos by DJ Steve Porter.
.
From my day, I remember "cool" and from this day, I still hear
"cool" - that's what I use to describe the music videos that follow.
.
End of editor's note.
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Youngsters (40 years old and younger), put on your dancing shoes.
.
Seniors (older than 40), each of you turn up your hearing aid, if you
have one, and just listen!
.
"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!"
.
Click here to view ===> RANDY MOSS QUOTES
.
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Image: o2gv.com
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PART 2 OF 3 ENTRIES
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SPORTS QUOTES \ HUMOR \ MUSIC
Web site presents hip-hop \ rap versions of famous sports quotes.
.
"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!
.
Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES
.
Editor's note:
.
Tell it like it is, Allen, and enjoy Turkey, especially the pay checks!
.
---------------
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Image: 2.bp.blogspot.com
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PART 3 Of 3 ENTRIES
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BASEBALL QUOTES \ HUMOR \ MUSIC
Web site presents Jack Cracker's hip-hop \ rap version on video
of puns of major league baseball player names.
.
** CAUTION: LINK BELOW CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE **
.
"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"
.
Click here to view ===> BASEBALL PUNS
.
====================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Sources: thenflchick.com
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: blogs.palmbeachpost.com
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: dailymail.co.uk
Web site presents its best sports quotes in 2010 from soccer, snooker,
rugby, tennis, golf, etc.
.
TENNIS
"I just couldn't lose to a bloke wearing a shirt like that,"
Lleyton Hewitt following his US Open victory over Dominik Hrbaty, who wore a pink and black shirt with two oval holes cut out of the back.
.
GOLF
"They don't let you smoke or drink in gyms so you know I'm not going to have any fun doing that."
John Daly plays it straight as he insists he has no plans to pump iron.
.
"I am 42 now and supposed to be going downhill. It's nice to go the other way." Colin Montgomerie on the resurgence in his game which saw him continue his red-hot form.
.
Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES
========================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
"I enjoy Shea Stadium. But the fans are something else. I look upon each game there as an experience. I get to go to a zoo and I don't have to pay admission."
-- Pete Rose
.
"Would you say, Harvey, that this is the best game you ever pitched?"
-- Pittsburgh radio announcer, after Harvey Haddix pitched a perfect game for twelve innings, only to lose by 1-0 in the thirteenth
.
(Concerning Oil Can Boyd) "He also had a Doberman that acquired a taste for beer! They both cut down, but how would you like to encounter a Doberman kicking a six-pack-a-day beer habit?"
-- Nolan Ryan
.
Our next homestand is after this roadtrip"
- Mickey Rivers
.
"Take those guys over to the other fields. I wanna see if they can play on the road."
--Sparky Anderson
.
Don't have the exact quote, but Lenny Randle once said the reason why he had didn't have as many homers in the second half of the season as the first half, was because the first half was longer.
.
Joe Garagiola commenting on the deal which sent he, Dick Cole, Bill Howerton, Howie Pollet and Ted Wilks to the Pirates for Cliff Chambers and Wally Westlake said "this was one of those trades that hurts both teams".
.
"The Cubs traded Ray Fontenot and George Frazier to the Twins for Ron Davis. Looks like the Cubs got the better end of this deal. They got rid of two terrible pitchers and only got one terrible pitcher back."
---Harry Caray
.
When Lou Piniella used to play the outfield for the Royals and Yankees, he'd yell at hecklers in the stands, "Go home and check your wife, we've got a ballplayer missing."
-- Tim McCarver
.
=====================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: angelfire.com
.
*Cheer to be heard, stunt to be seen!
*Don't wear your team's colors --- bleed them.
*It's hard to be humble, when you can jump, stunt, and tumble!
.
Golden Rules of Cheerleading :
.
*Cheer every game as though it were your last.
*When all else fails, let your spirit shine through
*Don't eat the megaphone.
*The fans are looking to you, not at you.
*Sportsmanship starts and ends with the cheerleader
*It takes years to build your character...and mere seconds to destroy it.
*Democracy ends at the coach's door.
*Somewhere in the stands is a little girl who wants to be just like you...don't let her down.
*The difference between good and great is a little extra practice.
*Mom doesn't know where your uniform is because she didn't wear it last.
*Ignore stereotypes - - or at least don't beat someone up over them.
*Keep the cheer in cheerleader
.
========================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
.
End of excerpt.
.
Click here to view ===> SPORTS TRIVIA - PHYSICAL DISABILITIES
.
Source: apryldelancey.blogspot.com
.
----------------------
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Bonus Entry: 7 Professional Athletes Who Played with Physical Disabilities
.
Web link below presents profiles of:
Rocky Bleier (NFL), Lou Brissie (MLB), Glenn Cunningham (track),
Tom Dempsey (NFL), Pete Gray (MLB), Natalie du Toit (swimming),
Jim Abbot (baseball).
.
Click here to view ===> SPORTS TRIVIA - 7 WHO MADE IT!
.
Source: campussqueeze.com
.
=====================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
.
MOUNTAIN CLIMBING QUOTES
Web site presents movie quotes from Vertical Limit
.
Plot Summary: Vertical Limit (2000)
.
A high-adrenaline tale of young climber Peter Garrett, who must launch a treacherous and extraordinary rescue effort up K2, the world's second highest peak. Confronting both his own limitations and the awesome power of nature's uncontrollable elements, Peter risks his life to save his sister, Annie, and her summit team in a race against time. The team is trapped in an icy grave at 26,000 feet - a death zone above the vertical limit of endurance where the human body cannot survive for long. Every second counts as Peter enlists the help of a crew of fellow climbers, including eccentric, reclusive mountain man Montgomery Wick, to ascend the chilling might of the world's most feared peak to save her. Written by Sujit R. Varma
.
Source: imdb.com
.
Movie Trailer: Vertical Limit (2000)
.
Click here to view ===> VERTICAL LIMIT MOVIE TRAILER
.
Source: trailerfan.com
.
Movie Quotes: Vertical Limit (2000)
.
Monique: Cyril! Cyril, are you there? Cyril! Damn it, you answer me!
Cyril Bench: Nag, nag, nag. They always bloody nag.
Monique: You're sick.
.
------
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Peter: You're gonna kill him.
.
Montgomery Wick: My wife died of edema. Stripped the skin from her throat, her lungs filled with water. She drowned in her own bodily fluids. Yeah, I'm gonna kill him.
.
Peter: I can't let you do it.
.
Montgomery Wick: Peter, do you know where you are? Above 24,000, you're at the vertical limit, you're already dying. Look at you. You can hardly stand. If you think you can stop me, go ahead.
.
------
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Click here to view ===> MOVIE QUOTES
.
Source: imdb.com
.
-----
.
Bonus entry: More Mountain Climbing Quotes
.
It's a round trip. Getting to the summit is optional, getting down is mandatory.
(Ed Viesturs)
.
It's not advisable to drink too much strong liquors while climbing in the Alps. If, however, you are going to fall over a cliff, it's advisable to be thoroughly intoxicated when you do so.
(English alpinist)
.
Life is brought down to the basics: if you are warm, regular, healthy, not thirsty or hungry, then you are not on a mountain. . . . Climbing at altitude is like hitting your head against a brick wall – it's great when you stop.(Chris Darwin ,The Social Climbers)
.
Click here to view ===> MOUNTAIN CLIMBING QUOTES
.
Source: sierra-nevada-news.com
.
========================
Saturday, November 6, 2010
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
.
MOTORCYCLE QUOTES
.
Related topics: Motocross, Dirt Bikes, Motor Sports
.
Part I: Quotes from the movie Motorcycle Diaries
.
Plot Summary: Motorcycle Diaries (2004)
.
Twenty-three year old medical student Ernesto Guevara de la Serna - Fuser to his friends and later better known as 'Ernesto Che Guevara' - one semester away from graduation, decides to postpone his last semester to accompany his twenty-nine year old biochemist friend Alberto Granado - Mial to his friends - on his four month, 8,000 km long dream motorcycle trip throughout South America starting from their home in Buenos Aires. Their quest is to see things they've only read about in books about the continent on which they live, and to finish that quest on Alberto's thirtieth birthday on the other side of the continent in the Guajira Peninsula in Venezuela. Not all on this trip goes according to their rough plan due to a broken down motorbike, a continual lack of money (they often stretching the truth to gain the favor of a variety of strangers to help them), arguments between the two in their frequent isolation solely with each other, their raging libidos which sometimes get them into trouble, and dealing with Fuser's chronic asthma. But a chance encounter with a couple of Communists in the Chilean desert and an extended visit to the San Pablo Leper Colony in the Perúvian Amazon Basin among other things profoundly affects what each will want to do with his life and the bond each has with the other. Written by Huggo
.
Movie Trailer: Motorcycle Diaries
.
Click here to view ===> MOVIE TRAILER
.
Movie Quotes: Motorcycle Diaries
.
Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: What we had in common - our restlessness, our impassioned spirits, and a love for the open road.
.
Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: Wandering around our America has changed me more than I thought. I am not me any more. At least I'm not the same me I was.
.
Click here to view ===> MOVIE QUOTES
.
Source: imdb.com
.
----------------
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.
Image: farm3.static.flickr.com
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Part II: Dirt Biker Quotes
.
I never lose. I only run out of laps, gas, or time.
.
Careful maintenance and preparation is critical to making your dirt bike is reliable enough to tow your buddy's bike back to the truck.
.
Winning riders never have "left over" parts.
.
Click here to view ===> DIRT BIKER QUOTES
.
Source: dirtbikeblogger.blogspot.com
.
---------------------
.
Image: future-motorcycles.com
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Part III: MOTOCYCLE \ BIKER HUMOR
YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BIKER WHEN:
- Your best friends are named after animals.
- Your best shoes have steel toes.
- You have motorcycle parts in the dishwasher.
- Your idea of jewelry is chains and barbwire.
- You can tell what kind of bugs they are by the taste of them.
- You ever bought saddlebags so you can carry more beer.
- You’re only sunburned on the back of your hands.
- You carry a picture of your bike in your wallet.
- Any day you ride is a good day.
- Your other vehicle is a truck with motorcycle ramps in it.
- Your three piece suit is Chaps, Leather Vests & a Leather Jacket.
- Your kids learn to ride on the back of your bike before they can walk.
- Your garage has more square footage than your house.
- Your coffee table collapses from the weight of motorcycle magazines
- You throw a party and more bikes show up than cars.
.
Source: jokesfunny.wordpress.com
.
=======================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
.
BASEBALL QUOTES
Website presents baseball quotes by Dustin Pedroia
.
Click here to view ===> BASEBALL QUOTES
.
Source: nesn.com
.
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—Ken Brett, a journeyman pitcher whose brother, Hall of Famer George Brett, said Ken was the best hitter in the family.
“That’s what they get for building a ballpark next to the ocean.”
—Oil Can Boyd after the Red Sox win a fog-shortened game against the Indians at Municipal Stadium in Cleveland, on the shores of Lake Erie.
.
“The sun will rise, the sun will set, and I’ll have lunch.”
—Sox GM Lou Gorman on Roger Clemens walking out of training camp in 1987 as part of a contract dispute.
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"Let a kite string out."
.
"Kick mule!"
.
"Yeah ya ain't."
.
"Run like hell."
.
"Hit us a sac fly."
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"Hit it over that New Grape sign."
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"Yall putting me to sleep."
.
"Is that Good's brother out there, No Good?"
.
"It's called cetch, not fetch."
.
"You hitting today, or ya hoping?"
.
"Tip the clubby on your way out."
.
"Half man, half mule."
.
Source: baseball-reference.com
.
==========================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
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Jock Stein to Billy MacNeill's mum when he signed for Celtic in 1957. She agreed !
.
David Tanner (Sky Sports) "Chris, just what is it that has made Celtic Champions this year?"
Chris Sutton reply: "We got more points than anyone else".
.
Click here to view ===> SOCCER QUOTES
.
Source: soccer-ireland.com
.
------
.
Bonus Entry:
Ten Reasons Why Football (Soccer) is Better Than Cricket
.
Excerpt from blogger's page:
.
Have to admit it, I like cricket, I enjoy playing it and watching it. But there is still that nagging feeling that the only reason I really enjoy it is because of the void left by another sport. Namely football.
.
End of excerpt
.
Click here to view ===> SOCCER \ CRICKET HUMOR
.
Source: soccerlens.com
.
=========================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: saddoboxing.com
Anon (on Don Cockell):
He is the biggest thing on canvas since "The Wreck of the Hesperus".
.
Harry Kabakoff (on Chango Cruz):
The bum was up and down so many times I thought he was an Otis elevator.
.
Tony Sibson (on being beaten in a match):
I figured I'd find him sooner or later but I never did. I asked myself "Where did he go?" I knew he was there because he kept hitting me.
.
When God said to the both of us "Which one of you wants to be Sugar Ray?" I guess I didnt raise my hand fast enough
--- Charley Burley
.
Roy Jones jr vs Antonio Tarver After the Ref asked if there were an questions Tarver said " You Got Anymore Excuses Roy" and then Knocked him the Fuk out in the 2nd round.
.
Ricardo Mayorga at a press confrence before Mayorga-Forrest"
"Forrest has disrespected me twice. Not only for being to chicken to show up (Forrest didn't show at the press conference) but fathers day just passed and he didn't send me a card"
.
Ref: "OK I've explained the rules does anyone have any questions?"
Larry Holmes: "Yeah, can you count to 10?"
.
Vinny Pazienza : Whan the legs go like spagetti...* I'm all over em like the sauce!
.
Asked of Paz why he was so amped after he almost KO'd the ref when he KO'd Rossenblatt :
I had 4 Capachinos before I came out here!!!* I wanted to knock everybody out!!
.
From the Saddoboxing forum:
I just saw a quote from Kendall Holt saying if he and Vivian Harris meet "there's going to be some slow singing and flower bringing."
.
==========================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: angelfire.com
.
HOCKEY QUOTES
Website presents quotes by and about NHL goaltenders.
.
"In hockey, goaltending is 75 percent of the game. Unless it's bad goaltending. Then it's 100 percent of the game, because you're going to lose."
~ Gene Ubriaco
.
"Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings."
~ John Vanbiesbrouck, asked if he liked facing 51 shots in a game.
.
"The only job worse is a javelin catcher at a track-and-field meet."
~ Gump Worsley, on goaltending
Click here to view ===> HOCKEY QUOTES
================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
.
GOLF \ BASEBALL HUMOR
Website presents political cartoons about sports stars Tiger Woods and Mark McGuire
.
Click here to view ===> SPORTS HUMOR
.
Source: politicalhumor.about.com
.
-------
.
Bonus Entry:
G O L F H O L E S ...Not Too Famous Quips
.
Click here to view ===> GOLF HUMOR
.
Source: golfholes.com
.
================
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: rivals.yahoo.com
Ex-Big Ten referee Dan Chrisman on the red, white and black plaid jacket Knight often wore in the 1970s at Indiana:
"It is a walking technical foul."
.
Knight interrupting Bilas while he introduced Chrisman:
"Dan Chrisman couldn't see worth a damn when he was officiating, so I have to help him find his seat."
.
Click here to view ===> BASKETBALL QUOTES
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: reellifewisdom.com
Saturday, October 23, 2010
FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message
.
BASEBALL QUOTES
.
Part I: New York Yankee Quotes From the History of the Franchise
.
Click here to view ===> YANKEE QUOTES
.
Source: itsallaboutthemoney.net
.
---------------------------
– Willie Stargell, after Allen once hit a home run over the left-center field roof of Philadelphia's Connie Mack Stadium.
.
"Allen was scary at the plate. When he came up there, he had your attention. I want to forget a couple of line drives he hit off me, but I can’t because they almost killed me."
– Mickey Lolich
.
"If a horse won't eat it, I don't want to play on it."
– His own quote on artificial turf.
.
"I never worry about it. I just take my three swings and go sit on the bench. I'm afraid if I ever think about hitting it, I'll mess up my swing for life."
– His quote on hitting the knuckleball
.
"Bob Gibson was so mean he would knock you down and then meet you at home plate to see if you wanted to make something of it."
.
"I can play anywhere; First, Third, Left field, anywhere but Philadelphia."
.
Source: en.wikipedia.org
.
But today, let's talk Weaver.
Let's talk about that bantam rooster with the cotton haircut who ran the Baltimore Orioles, made umpires' lives miserable, smoked Raleighs because he collected the coupons, won 108 games in the 1970 season and always, always, always preferred a three-run homer to something as overrated as, oh, strategy.
.
Earl Weaver, who once blamed constant travel as the reason he gave up baseball, saying, "What scares the hell out of me is waking up dead some morning in the Hyatt Hotel in Oakland."
.
Earl Weaver, who once reacted to umpire Ron Luciano's hiring as a commentator for television, saying, "I hope he takes this job more seriously than he took his last one."
.
Earl Weaver, who once expressed reluctance to be a TV commentator himself, saying, "I have to admit that Maury Wills proved as a broadcaster that experience on the field doesn't always result in insights."
.
Earl Weaver, who once recalled Billy Martin trying a guy named Shooty Babitt at second base, then saying to him, "Earl, if you ever see Shooty Babitt playing second base for me again, I want you to shooty me."
.
Earl Weaver, who once rode Lou Piniella so hard from the dugout that Piniella stepped out of the batter's box and shouted, "You better get off me or I'm gonna hit you in the head with this bat."
.
Earl Weaver, who once was handed the ball on the mound by Jim Palmer, who said, "Here, you pitch, Earl. You know so much."
.
Earl Weaver, the 5-foot-6 manager of whom the 6-3 Palmer once said, "Did you ever notice Earl always goes to the highest spot on the mound when he comes out?"
.
Earl Weaver, who defended himself by saying, "I'd rather be small of stature than a mental midget."
.
Earl Weaver, who once was diagnosed with an elbow nerve disorder, then told the doctor, "I must have caught it from Jim Palmer."
.
Earl Weaver, who once taped a note above Palmer's locker, reading, "Happy Father's Day. Now grow up."
.
Source: latimes.com
.
------------------
After the Phillies won the 1980 National League Championship Series in the 10th inning of an 8-7 game filled with sensational plays, he said, "It was like riding through an art gallery on a motorcycle."
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"Ten million years from now, when the sun burns out and the earth is just a frozen iceball hurtling through space, nobody's gonna care whether or not I got this guy out."
.
"Some days you tame the tiger. And some days the tiger has you for lunch," his way of explaining a reliever's life on the edge, working when the game is there to be won or lost.
.
Why drive a 1954 Buick? "I like it because it plays old music."
.
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Whitey Herzog on his pitchers: "It's like they're afraid they'll get the clap or something if they throw strikes."
.
This one is a gem about a "one sided conversation" an "oiled up Carty" is having with a woman on a non-chartered plane:
"They call me the B-E-E-E-G Boy...Ho Ho Ho. They say the B-E-E-G Boy no longer H-E-E-T and you know what I say? Horse S-H-E-E-E-T." Now gripping an imaginary bat and waving it in her face, Carty assures her, "The B-E-E-E-G Boy will H-E-E-T!"
.
Herzog on Carty: "Rico's crazier than a peach orchard sow."
.
------
.
The trick against Drysdale is to hit him before he hits you.
Orlando Cepeda
.
------
.
FORUM ENTRY: I'll try to throw in a subcategory: Sporting News headlines.
.
The first one which comes to mind is this one from the Spring of 1949, which refers to the WWII experiences of Earl Rapp, who came up with the Tigers and White Sox for a cup of coffee that year:
SLUGGER RAPP, PINNED DOWN BY ENEMY FIRE,
VOWED TO LEARN TO HIT LEFTIES IF SPARED
.
------
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When subjected to the tired truism "Ya can't win 'em all...",
manager Gene Mauch once retorted,
"Why the hell not?"
.
-----
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"Getting all excited about minor league relievers is sort of like getting excited about ants: yes, they're nifty testaments to life in its glory, profusion, and wonder, but mostly, there are just a lot of them."
- Chris Kahrl.
.
------
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"The worst thing about it is I can no longer see my penis when I stand up."
Babe Ruth, on getting fat.
.
------
.
During George Brett's 1980 Season:
.
"The only way to pitch him now is way inside, so you force him to pull the ball. That way, the line drive won't hit you."
Yankee pitcher Rudy May
.
"The way George Brett is hitting right now, God could have him down no balls and two strikes and he'd get a hit."
Umpire Steve Palmero
.
"I wouldn't go that far. If the Lord was up 0-2, He might get George out . . . but God better hit the black."
Hal McRae, Kansas City Royals
.
------
.
"...in the end it all comes down to talent. You can talk all you want about intangibles, I just don't know what that means. Talent makes winnners, not intangibles. Can nice guys win? Sure, nice guys can win -- if they're nice guys with a lot of talent. Nice guys with a little talent finish fourth, and nice guys with no talent finish last."
Sandy Koufax
.
.
White Sox announcer Harry Caray- "Jimmy, I saw Stan Musial hit five home runs in a doubleheader".
.
White Sox announcer Jimmy Piersall-"So what? I had nine kids."
.
-----
.
Part VII: WORLD SERIES 2010 QUOTES AND NOTES
.
The Texas Rangers and the San Francisco Giants Battle to win the 2010 Series
.
Clowning around
.
Before Giants OF Cody Ross wanted to become a ballplayer, he wanted to be a rodeo clown. His dad was in the rodeo, and he used to hang out with him, and until he was about 10, that's what he thought he would do. "I was drawn to them so much because those guys have no fear," he said.
.
Click here to view ===> 2010 WORLD SERIES QUOTES AND NOTES
.
Source: tampabay.com
.
============================